Happy New Year's, mostly.

Oh, pity the cook on New Year’s Eve.

By definition, New Year’s takes place at midnight, and no one eats at midnight. Either you eat dinner before you go out, or you eat dinner at the party, then get drunk and forget what you ate. Or, worst of all, you get a series of endless appetizers and no entrée.

“It’s the bartender’s holiday,” a comedian once said.